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Heading out for the day.. So beautiful outside. Strapping on my back braxce. Hope your day is good too. #myshanbug #defplanet Charla De Hart
JUNE 30 2026
YES! I HAVE GOT CORN GROWING IN MY GARDEN.
I HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE THE MOST HIGH HAS BEEN
WATERING THIS FOR ME WHILE i RECOVER. REALLY EXCITED..WEEEEE.
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET OUT THERE, SO THIS COOL MIRACLE
OF RAIN HAS KEPT THIS GARDEN GROWING. SOOO
ECSTATIC HAVING GOD WATERING MY GARDEN. I CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE THE
ABUNDANCE WITH MY NEIGHBORS. THEY HAVE BEEN
SO KIND. MY NEIGHBORS ACROSS FROM ME, BROUGHT ME A
TURKEY DINNER A FEW DAYS AFTER i MOVED IN. AND THE NEIGHBOR
NEXT DOOR WHO LIKES TO SCREAM AT A FEDEX DRIVER IF THEY ARE DELIVERING
PACKAGES TO ME, THEY ACTUALLY ARE QUITE NICE. DELIVERIES, ALMOST DAILY
KEEP PARKING IN THEIR DRIVEWAY INSTEAD OF MY DRIVEWAY, GETS HIM PRETTY MAD.
I GUESS THE TRUCKS CREATE POTHOLES BECAUSE OF THEIR WEIGHT.
lOL, THE FIRST NIGHT WE MOVED IN, MY NEIGHBOR PULLED A GUN ON MY FAMILY FOR PARKING
IN THEIR DRIVEWAY, BUT THEY WERE MOVING FURNITURE IN FOR ME
AND MAYBE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS AN INVASION. IT WAS ABOUT 30 FAMILY MEMBERS WERE HERE,
QUICKLY MOVING EVERYTHING IN. bUT, A FEW DAYS AGO, WE HAD A CONVERSATION, AND HE WAS SO KIND.
KNEW ABOUT MY NEWLY FRACTURES AND SAID IF i EVER NEEDED ANYTHING, THEY WOULD HELP. wHAT A RELIEF!
I THOUGHT HE WAS A BIT CRAZY, AND WAS SCARED FOR HIS KIDS, BUT ALLSWELL NOW.. i DON'T HAVE TO LOCK THE
FRONT DOOR ANYMORE.. LOL
I am Healing
Well, I suppose I have
some explaining to do.
3 Sundays ago, I believe
May 10, I went flying, and
the impact was so brutal
that I ended up with
spinal fractures, and a sore
head. Cannot move
around much. Maybe 10
more weeks max? So
mostly watching motivational
videos and resting alot, since
I cannot move around..
Didn’t help
when I tried to do situps the
other day thinking I am fine. lol
I know, the universe is going
to tell me stop complaining.
Of course there’s a lady out there
that is obsessed with my Ex
and wears a mask
pretending to be him..
Just been keeping phone off
and resting. Oh, And this picture,
is what
my vision has showed me a few
times when I am in and out of sleep.
I am like a little bird,
in a nest, floating to the stars.
It’s probably because I watch so many
meditation song videos, my mind
came up with this.
myshanbug, Def Planet Charla DeHart
RESTING IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPACTFUL PRACTICES WE CAN ADOPT FOR SELF-COMPASSION, EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING, COLLECTIVE CARE, AND ENVIRONMENTAL REPAIR.
WHEN WE TAKE A FEW MOMENTS EACH DAY TO PAUSE, TO FEEL OUR EXHALES, TO LISTEN TO THE SOUNDS THAT ARE PRESENT, OR TO NOTICE THE WAY LIGHT BENDS AROUND THE CORNER, WE ARE ENGAGING IN A SUBVERSIVE ACT OF RECLAIMING THE INNATE WISDOM WITHIN OUR BODIES AND WITHIN THE NATURAL WORLD: THE WISDOM OF REST.
WHEN WE PRACTICE RESTING, WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO FOLLOW AN ORGANIC RYTHM THAT HAS THE POWER TO HEAL, TO RESTORE, AND TO LIBERATE US FROM THE OPPRESSION OF OVERWORK AND CONSTANT PRODUCTIVITY OF OUR CULTURE.
WHEN WE PRACTICE RESTING, WE ENGAGE IN REVOLUTIONARY ACTS THAT CREATE SOCIAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGES, RIPPLING OUR TO SHIFT ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE.
YET MOST OF US WILL SAY, ON ANY GIVEN DAY, THAT WE SIMPLY CANNOT TAKE THE TIME TO REST. I GET IT. i'VE BEEN THERE.
I HAVE BEEN ON THE BURNOUT TRAIN MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO ADMIT. I HAVE STRUGGLED TO THE ADDICTION TO WORK, TO BEING OF SERVICE, AND TO SOCIAL MEDIA.
I HAVE PUSHED MYSELF TO THE POINT OF BEING BEDRIDDEN MORE THAN ONCE. I HAVE FALLEN INTO THE TRAP OF BELIEVING IF I JUST DO MORE, HELP MORE, WORK MORE, AND KEEP PUSHING PAST MY LIMITS.
I WILL FINALLY FEEL LIKE I AM ENOUGH. AND THEN I WILL BE ABLE TO RELAX.
WE ARE EXHAUSTED. WE ARE WEARY.
OUR BODIES NEED REST. OUR MINDS NEED REST.
OUR HEARTS NEED REST. OUR RELATIONSHIPS NEED REST. OUR CREATIVITY NEEDS REST. OUR CULTURE NEEDS REST. OUR EARTH NEEDS REST.
THE PROMISING NEWS IS THAT THE VALUE OF REST IS GRADUALLY ON THE RISE IN OUR COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. ENOUGH OF US ARE RECOGNIZING THAT FEELING DEPLETED AND PERPETUALLY EXHAUSTED DOESN'T HAVE TO BE OUR BASELINE.
ENOUGH OF US ARE TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED AND ARE CHOOSING TO REST, DESPITE EXISTING IN A CULTURE THAT TELLS US TO REST IS TO ADMIT WEAKNESS AND NEEDING TO SLOW DOWN IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF.
IT IS OKAY TO SLOW DOWN, IT IS OKAY TO PAUSE, IT IS OKAY TO REST.
THE UNIVERSE WILL STILL BE THERE, AND IT IS OKAY TO REST. AMEN.
"Self-Care" IN THE MAINSTREAM HAS MORPHED
INTO MEANING BUBBLE BATHS AND FACE MASKS.
SO MANY PEOPLE POSE DRINKING WATER, READING
BOOKS, AND EXERCISING AS FORMS OF SELF-CARE.
OF COURSE, THESE THINGS ARE VITAL MAINTENANCE
FOR THE MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT, BUT THESE
THINGS YOU SHOULD BE DOING BY DEFAULT TO
KEEP YOURSELF SHARP AND ENERGIZED.
myshanbug@ Def Planet
This book of the law
shall not depart out
of thy mouth; But thou
shalt meditate therein
day and night, that thou
mayest observe to do
according to all that is
written therein: for then
thou shalt make thy way
prosperous, and then shalt
have good success.
JOSHUA 1:8
I will both lay me down in peace,
and sleep: for thou, Lord,
only makest me dwell in safety.
PSALM 4:8
The Role of Silence in Testing
Silence is a test. True guidance endures silence.
False influence demands constant reinforcement.
If a message cannot withstand waiting, it is not of
Heaven. Angels do not fear being forgotten. They
fear being misused. @myshanbug Def Planet. June 9th,
2026.
Heaven stands not because it dominates,
but because every being knows where it belongs
and rejoices to remain there.
To accept one's place within order is not
it is peace.
-Structured in Light, Ordered in Obedience, Eternal
in Harmony.
The reveal. @myshanbug Def Planet
Heaven stands not because it dominates,
but because every being knows where it belongs
and rejoices to remain there.
To accept one's place within order is not
it is peace.
-Structured in Light, Ordered in Obedience, Eternal
in Harmony.
The reveal. @myshanbug Def Planet
Working in my office today. Organizing the bookshelf 1. If people blur out their book collections, most likely, it is an A.I bookshelf and not a real one.. May 25th 2026 Charla @mshanvbug Def Planert
My Son's Wedding Vows
My son asked me to marry him and his new wife. Although, they had already married somewhere else. He asked me to give him a formal wedding and be the ordained pastor.
So I did. It was a beautiful wedding. Taken place out in nature, Fort Buena Ventura in Ogden, Utah.
They hadn't had any vows written. So, the day before, I spent the afternoon, writing a meaningful vow, for the both of them. I hope you like it. Amen.
Welcome Family and Friends. We are gathered here today to witness the celebration of a relationship that is not new, but the acknowlegement of a new beginning. The new next chapter and of new beginnings.
They have spent years getting to know each other, and we now bear witness to what their relationship has grown into. Today, they will affirm this bond, formally, and publicly. Today, will mark a transition as a couple not only celebrating the love between themselves, but also uniting the love between all of us. Parents, siblings, extended family and friends. Without that love today, would be far less joyous to celebrate and acknowledge a new family member inside this loving circle.
Companionship, marriage, is a selfless act. Not just putting their needs, wants, and desires before yours, but together, a bond, not to control, but to love and respect one another.
Marriage is not only a commitment. But when you commit with faith, to start building this relationship, you become a selfless person. In the beginning, it is not the commitment, but putting in each 100% effort. to grow, and nurture the relationship.
Marriage, comes from that effort. Marriage is not a competition between two people. What comes from that bond that you have built. the love, the nurturing, and selflessness from the very beginning. If you continue this path, your relationship will blossom. Furthering the growing together, instead of growing apart. You keep your identity, and decisions become as one unity.
Marriage is not an ownership of one another. It is a continuum, an infinity of respect, a good listener, protector, good communication and an embodiement of selflessness. Trust, shall be honored. Being heard shall not fall on deaf ears.
God the father, God, the son. God, the holy spirit. May he Bless, preserve and keep you. The lord mercifully with his favor, look upon you and fill you with all spiritual benediction. And grace, that you may faithfully live together in this life, and the age to come. Have life everlasing. Amen.
Good Morning Dear Heaven. Thank you Jesus, Father, for watching over me. Thank you for your Angels.
I must use discernment, step back and do nothing. Dodging these emotional bullets. The truth will reveal in time. I chose silence. Angels are guarding my exit. While they are talking, I am rising. No longer chained and emerge in peace. Chosing alignment over attachment. What is coming next is the holy divine. I choose me. The revelation. I get to live, not in fragments but in wholeness. It is not to be meant in ruin. Accountability. It was always meant to reveal who I am. Annointed. God has plans. What is hidden is being revealed. I am not walking away from from what harmed me, I am walking to what has been waiting for me. Vindication is not my job. It is Heaven's. I will not walk in next season's limping. I will walk in whole. The fire of my faith. My entire path. The ability to change timelines. I shatter the strongholds of manipulations. The heavens move to protect me. My peace is non negotiable. My voice is the key. I chose my future. I spread more light. I am not a victim. I am a revelation. Heaven's courtroom. Angel Michael, Sword in hand. A holy appointment. The veil is gone and the mask is gone. Exposer is not for revenge but for release. I was never blind. Discernment built in. My silence is when God does his greatest power. I obeyed. Spiritual surveillance. Names shall be revealed. The truth shall come out. Tonight I ascend. My light, my linage, my divine. I am no longer hiding. Heaven is issuing a spiritual restraining order. The shadows are reacting to my light. What has broke me has bowed down to me. The corrupt has been found by the light. Heaven has already shut the door. I am being wartched. But I am also being protected. Amen.
My Marketing Professor and The CEOs
The CEOs from Star Crest, a large corporation in Perris, California. A mail-order company.
I wanted to learn all about mail order. This is what I do. I take odd jobs with a purpose when I want to learn all about them. So, at the time, I was interested in mail order and starting my own company. It would not have been a competition, no, I had my own ideas on what I would sell. The Internet had not yet been presented. So, computers were still in their I0I0I0. I needed a computer for this work. Anyways, I had applied and got hired in Marketing
Department. There were stacks and stacks of data. And my job was to find discrepancies.
I got very good at it. So much that I surpassed others who had been there for years. Now, my boss was pretty cool. I liked my hard work. Then, I started training others. I was able to free up my time. Then, my boss assigned me as his secretary, so he could relax from all the phone calls he had to deal with. I still had the same position.
One afternoon, he had a “project” and asked who would like to do such a task. And I raised my hand. I got the job, even though I still had the same job. Lol.
So, this new project entailed pushing merchandise through, for example, get rid of excess merchandise and outdated products. They were behind for over 2 years. And, I had to get
Started. So I did. Oh, I was good. I had that merchandise moving and out the door. So fast, they could not keep up with me. In the meantime, I bought this old computer. A dinosaur. I had a plan.
I got the merchandise sent out to various places as “Donations’ and sent them to varied dot orgs. Someone out there could use it. So that is what I did. The problem was that they could not keep up.
Anyways, one day, I was back doing discrepancies. Stacks and stacks of data. I was good with numbers and fast scanning.
I just happened to look up, and I saw my boss walking down the hallway towards me. I was trying to figure out why he was grinning ear to ear. Oh, was he proud, Oh, was he so happy.
And, I was looking at him and thinking “what?”
Behind him were about 5 or more, looked like Execs?
One man said, “well, who is she? Where is she?” And, I am like, no, what is going on?
My boss says, “Here she is, Miss Charla De Hart”. And one of them stepped forward, “We wanted to meet you, and shake your hand. And they did. They shook my hand. They were all smiles. Apparently, they had all flown in from different places. I am elated. They told ME a story. The company had just started with only pantyhose. It is now a large corporation with many products. I was thinking about what they were saying. And, I was thinking about all the things that I would like to add. They catered mostly to the elderly and some Christian book sections. So, I was thinking I could throw out some ideas to them, and I would abandon the thought of starting my own. I could. Always been a hard, dedicated worker.
Even if pay would still be low. I would be satisfied. These people who flew out from various places to meet me were the CEOs. All of them. They told me how I had accomplished a task that they had been behind on for a few years, and I had gotten it caught up in a few weeks.
Oh, my boss was so proud. They said that they will hire a new swing shift, a whole new crew, to help me push out this merchandise. So, they did.
A few weeks had gone by, and then, at work, I got a phone call. It was an emergency at my home. My eldest son was crying. And I listened. So, my eldest daughter, who lived outside of the other side of the town, is called Valle Vista. In Hemet, California. Her boyfriend was very large, abusive, and brutal, and she was petite and tiny. The phone call was a 911 call to go home immediately. I had to tell my boss I was sorry, but I had to leave work, NOW. I explained the best I could, and he understood.
Apparently, my daughter brought my 2-year-old grandson in only a diaper, was outside on the front door step. Now, for some reason, my eldest was home from school, most likely sick. I do not know if he was put inside; my son did not know he was even there.
My other children were at recess, right across from our house, and they were crying.
They saw all this unfold, and the yard duty person would not let them go and get their nephew into the house. No one would help them. The personnel there let it all unfold. The police were there, and so was the County of Riverside. My daughter shows up and gets to take my grandson away. I was there alone with them.
This was no longer about my grandson, no. It was about my own children. Don’t threaten me. They went through the entire house and took pictures. I saw the pictures. In my case file. What was in those pictures? I will tell you. They took snapshots of the laundry room and the kid’s rooms, and the bathroom. My kids were a bit funny. They would pull out their clean clothes and not put them back, then stomp all over their clean clothes. So I was always washing and rewashing. Never-ending. They didn’t make their beds, even though school was across the street on Franklin Avenue. And the bathroom picture? Showed that it was clean and shiny. In their report, though, they said that my son left his remains in the toilet.
Meaning he used the toilet and did not flush. They said a different word then remains. That is a nice way to put it.
I was just upset, standing in the kitchen leaning up against the refrigerator from this invasion.
A lady from the County said, “We could take your children.” How many times had I gone through that? Tired of this rhetoric, I said, “Go ahead, I need a break”. Well, I did not mean it. No, it was my sarcastic humor that lit up my situation. And, if it were to happen, they would be back in a few days. My kid’s intelligence would put them through the ringer. And they would too. Anyways to “comply”, I had to take a “parenting class”, Lol. I thought, man, I could have gotten the laundry done. Oh, well.
My boss called me, and I had to explain the situation that I had to stay home and not work. He said, “please come back, we need you here and take all the time that you need”.
Well, I did not go back. Later, I found a new job, much closer to home.
Mail Order idea on the back burner. Of course, my water got shut off. My dad paid it for me.
Now, my eldest, a somewhat humbug always chirping on my shoulders, said, “Well you bought a computer, and grandpa had to pay the water bill!”
Yeah, well, unfortunate events happen, have no time to explain this to a child who does not need to know how people treat others. Let him think I was a failure, and not what the reality of cruel people is. He still, to this day, will throw that up. And, I am thinking, “By now, you still don’t know your own mother?” A humbug, alright. A humbug.
Here is the other story about my Marketing Professor, A bit shorter story.
I went to college, off and on through an 8-year period. A major in Real Estate and A huge minor in business. The plan was to combine the two, including law and Real Estate Laws.
I had a few drama classes and music. And then, all of the others. Took even summer school in various campuses.
My Marketing Professor always liked to test us. And see if we were paying attention. I never raised my hand. Yet, he liked to always pick me. Sigh…
We had to do a “Thesis”, a final. So, I chose Donations. Why not? I did that job before.
So, I did my research. Not remembering where I found this person, he was exactly who I wanted to interview. So, I believe we had two lunch dates. I wasn’t hungry for food, I wanted information. I got all I needed to know, so I did not call him back.
He worked at a call center, for events like the Policeman’s Ball and the Fireman’s Breakfast, raising funds for their cause. I learned that these call centers would call the locals and had a scripted pitch. I discovered that these causes only got maybe 10 and at most 15% brought in, and then the rest went to the companies who did the calling, and then some bonuses fot the employees.
Then, I decided to take on a job as a “driver”. I wanted to know everything about it. Did they really sell tickets and deliver them to patrons? I started delivering these “basketball” tickets. I believe it was for Veterans. A good cause. I enjoyed being part of a good cause.
They would send me out to these remote places, where you would not think anyone would live at. When that project was done, they offered a new one. I am like, no, thank you.
I used one of the typewriters in the college library and started on my thesis report.
And, I wrote it raw with all of my thoughts. And gave it to my professor. I got an A+.
As my professor was handing it to me, it was not a congratulations. No. He said, You know, Charla. I don’t think you have the potential to be a Marketer. Now, it became clear that he thought I was too nice and happy. Not only that, but I thought I was this dumb blonde. A stigma. Not true. I thought I could do this, and not only that, but I could also play the dumb blonde part quite well. I could play stupid and get away with not showing I was smart. A protection mechanism. Used it to my advantage. And it kept me safe and out of a lot of trouble and danger.
Not a liar, but a protective mechanism. I took drama, and it helped me with this persona.
I will tell another story about this most unnatural, yet natural beauty I have, and the charisma, not natural. I will write about this when I have the time. End of these short stories.
Charla DeHart
April 26 2025
First of all, I would like to wish everyone a good Easter, Palm Sunday, April 20, 2025
I do not want to take anything away from my Father, Jesus. It is his day and not mine.
I was not expecting to hear about who exactly I am, especially today. I have been cleaning my carpet in my bedroom, and totally exhausted. But, I checked my email randomly on a break and saw that my DNA results on CRI Genetics. I had paid for the extensive full package. I hadn’t been able to really eat or sleep for over a month. And I thought, maybe a DNA test will help me find out what type of diet I could handle.
Now, I know people are looking at my posts and thinking, is she crazy? Just an interesting storyteller? Well, none could be further from the Truth. God gave me truth from the time I was born. So, no white lies or fibs here.
Jesus has been with me for as long as I had any kind of memory. I posted earlier on how he would take me on flying adventures, and I had white, feathery wings, then when I got older, I flew with no wings at all.
These adventures never left. If I had an imaginary friend as an adult, certainly be questionable. But no. Never left me. Constantly watching me.
Something you may or may not understand is how Jesus can be everywhere, yet still be in heaven. Well, I had done it myself when I slept. Mine, although mostly people that I personally have had some kind of encounter with. I would go to where they were, and speak and interact, yet I would be home asleep. I have had 3 witnesses tell me about my visits. I mostly came to them and told them they would be ok. Not sure how many I have actually done this with, they never gave me a phone call and said, “hey, you came to me and I was awake”. So, I call this a “hologram”.
Israel has been at war for years, just to exist, just a little piece of land. I even wrote an article about how vast the Holy Land was. Right here on the “X” platform. I said how far it was, and I had answers coming to me from the Divine.
I still have so many stories to help others. That is me. I want to open doors with my keys and help others out. Now, people who have tried so many things to get this connection, well, I was born with it.
I am not a threat to anyone. God has been calling me to send out his messages, and helping Israel, and all this chaos. I was a secret. I am protected. Always been. Now, at 17, I was so scared, I told my angels to go away, but they did not, they stayed. I don’t see a whole being, no, I see this light, and it is as tall as a person, a tall person.
No, I am not a threat to anyone. God wanted me to help with his lost children. But, for me, I have a love for animals and children. I love them so much. When the war is over, hopefully soonly. I know Father is coming. I want it to be a joyous occasion. But, remembering Jesus and Lazarus, were they to be killed? Well, I hope people do not want that to happen to me.
I do not blame the Jewish people, not at all. They were afraid they would be slaughtered again. It was also written in the scriptures that it was meant to happen. God pre-wrote everything.
I will be working on a huge project for children. Start locally, and then internationally. I went to college and took jobs to learn all about running a large corporation. So, I will not be interfering with leaders or structures. I do want to help restore them, though. Put us back into balance.
My fiancé’ also very spiritual will be helping me with collaboration while he is working, and when he can, especially when he is home and I am working on this project.
I may not be this magical unicorn who touches and heals people. But what I can do is spread God’s light out there, and help you heal yourselves.
So, please respect our privacy as far as strange phone calls or fake profiles. We mean good for humanity.
I will wait to go online live when Kev gets home, I think he knows how to get the cameras working, so you can see my DNA chart.
I thought I would have maybe five heritage traits? No, it is many. Many. Mostly from the Holy Lands.
Here is what I discovered:
Egyptian, Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia, Armenian, Neolithic Portugal, Spain, France, German ( Am I Jewish)? Poland. Southern Han Chinese, Tuscany Italian, Colombian, Iberian, Peruvian, Mexican ( Am I Mayan?), Punjabi, Gujarati Indian, English, French, Sudanese, Saudi Arabian, Iranian, Turkey.
Famous Distant Relative
Susan Sarandon, Warren Buffett, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Queen Victoria, Napoleon Bonaparte, Empress Maria Theresa, and lastly, Nicholas Copernicus.
Like I said, I hadn’t been sleeping or eating, and all these awakenings, signs, ascensions, visions, Divine Interventions, even poltergeists, demons, angels, unexplainable events. Warnings, Supernatural.
I was born of light, and I am light. Do not hate me nor despise me. I am good. I mean good.
I wish you a good Easter, Palm Sunday. I hope we can all help get this chaos under control. And help Israel in this last cleansing of Evil. Please pray for them all.
I knew I had some interesting Ancestors, just did not know how many like this.
I have had a full day. Now, I must clean up my mess, had to throw everything on my bed so the carpet could get done. Thank you. Shalom and Amen.
Charla De Hart.
I want to write this article to reach those who experience abuse, the stalkers, the Obsessors, the psychopaths. This is not for me to re-live past attacks. No, this is for the ones who ignore their exit signs, thinking they can live through these attacks. I have been through so many, and many violent tests till I got it right. What does that mean? Well, you will not experience what I have been through. It is close to Impossible. So, you can read this and have any encounters. I have been through it all, and now, you do not have to. Here are the closures.
I have written about an experience of an attack that lasted for hours on Evans Street. Now, I will share with you the closure.
It had been years that had passed. I remembered his name. Somehow, I came across an article in the local newspaper. He went to prison for spousal abuse and lost his whole family and house.
I got this call on my work phone. I am still working as a taxi driver. It was his name on my call.
I thought about it. And I decided I needed to have closure. So, I picked up this man.
Of course, he did not recognize me. But I recognized him. He was so happy to see me, so polite. It’s my charisma. My energy. Not my looks. He was on crutches and was missing half of one of his legs. As we were driving, I slowly told a story. About my girlfriend and a house, and I gave their friend a ride. I was careful. I was cordial. I am not a raging, revengeful one, no, I am a calming, cordial one. A person who means no harm. So, after the ride, he was happy to meet me, and we bid our goodbyes. My closure, facing this attacker.
How can I face such evil? Because I can. Because I can.
This one, I did not write an article on. I did mention about a restraining order, then He had the ability to hire a high-powered female lawyer and then the charges filed, conveniently got lost between the police station and the attorney’s office. No matter. Another test. A level up.
Another ascension. This one, I had advanced from so many other attacks. I could take charge.
One of my coworkers, well, she loved money. She took this man around her finger and used him. Now,, I had known him for years, and when she wasn’t on shift, I was his driver. I never knew how much damage was done. I remember having to call another driver and grab the spare keys, knocking on the door, and letting her know that I was taking her car. And when she needed a ride, to call the office.
I got a call to pick him up. He had been drinking. He never drank alcohol. His attitude started changing, and I could also hear him panicking in his words. The alcohol took over, and he was in a panic. Almost seemed possessed. I talked to him in a calming manner. And he did not want to go to any specific place. No, he had me drive him up to the north and down into Temecula and just all over. He told me about my coworker and how much he loved her. Details unfolding. A story of truth and betrayal. He decided to go to a local motel back in town. And I could see that his demeanor was changing. Like, as if I was her, and he wanted to lash out. He had me walk him to the office, saying he was not able to walk alone. So, I did. I knew this man for years, right? Then, I walked him to his room, thinking he would be alright. He handed me his keycard and told me to open the door. I am now wondering what was going to happen.
I stood at the door, waiting to get paid for his fare. He took out everything in his pockets and all his money on the dresser. Then, he told me to come in and he would pay me.
I am thinking, “you know not to enter anyone’s place”, and I stepped in with caution.
He quickly ran around me and slammed and locked the door. I was in shock. And, in a panic.
I remember my long coat was swirling around, while I saw him locking the door.
He grabbed me and, with brute force, threw me on the bed. Got right on top of me with my wrists pinned down by his whole arms. He climbed on top with the force of his might, and the pressure down on my thighs, where my phantom pains of the “healer” had been caused.
He assaulted me without using his private area. But, yet, it was still as bad as if it were.
Now, by this time, I had had so many attacks and gone through them all..
This time, I had the control. I could leave my body and watch as a third party, removing myself from this violence. I watched this with one of my guardians. We waited till it was time to go back in and finish this.
I went back in at the right time, and he started to remove his belt. My guardian stepped into him and took over. We had a lot of practice. Not just these types of attacks, but random, coming out of the darkness. Because of who I was. So, as usual, he jumped up like a robot. And started talking about how he could show me the world, and went on, I knew it was not him anymore. The words came from my father. He walked into the bathroom and started a bath, waiting for it to get warm. That was my exit sign. Time to go. The door unlocked and flew open. Then, I head to the door to exit, and just as I step out, he wakes up. But still under control. He went over to the dresser and grabbed all his money, all wadded up. And said, “Here, this is yours.” No, I did not want to take it, like a prostitute.
It was from my guardian, so I let him give it to me, and I left.
I did not want to look at it for a while. I called the office and explained the attack, and he took his anger out on me because of my coworker. I later looked it this dirty money. It was
400 dollars. I put it away and spent it on my kids, reminding me who I am, and no one was going to destroy my spirit.
I do not have a scarlet letter “A” on my back. I have God’s mark, as his daughter.
I think, four or five years have went by. I got a call on my phone. It was him.
The confrontation and the closure were to be done.
He was standing out in front. He didn’t see who I was till he started to step in. First, he had a hesitation, then sat in front of me. He was happy to see me. And I was cordial. He wanted to go get a sub sandwich, and I took him. It wasn’t awkward for me; it was my closure. It was round-trip. He brought in his sandwich and described how good it was.
He pulled it apart with the wrapper intact and said, “Here, this is for you”.
I had to take it, just for the ending. I said, “Thank you”. And took him back home.
I left, and when I got off, I gave my sandwich to my dog.
Now, for you, my friend, whether male or female. Listen to your gut instinct. The first slap, the first bruise, and the rhetoric, “I am sorry, I will never hurt you again.”
Those words are your exit sign. Don’t ignore your intuition, trying to convince yourself, they will change. No, this is not your person. And, do not try to go all the way till the end. It is not a happy ending, and most likely, you will not survive. The things I have been through are not normal. I only survive because I am protected. And, don’t be a co-dependent, or find another of the same. Find someone who respects you and loves you for who you are, and you can be yourself, and not be kept separated from the people you love. See the signs.
Charla De Hart
April 15, 2025















































